I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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