U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
