I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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