If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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