Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
