Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
