I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
