i just wanna soil my oats bro
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
