it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
