I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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