so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
