road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
