oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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