it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
