For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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