I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
