I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
