I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
