There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
