You just made me feel so damn special
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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