I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
