just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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