Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
