Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
