he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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