i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
