Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
