my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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