did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
