it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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