Please, let me fuck your mom
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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