I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
