Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize