I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
