So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
