i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
