I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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