I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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