Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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