Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
