why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
