They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
