sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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