lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
And then my night got REAL pukey
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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