I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize