You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
