i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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