rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
