How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
