I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
