Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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