9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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