All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
