dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
