Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
