rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
