You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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