i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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