this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize