If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
