Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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