i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
