I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
