they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
