I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
