He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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