went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
